You might be surprised to learn that no stoner comedy has ever won Best Picture. In fact, few have even been nominated.
Still, while they might not receive the recognition they deserve from the Academy, there are plenty of dumb, silly marijuana-based movies we love to turn our brains off and enjoy pretty regularly.
Those movies are not on this list.
Instead, we’re taking a look at some of the laziest, least thought-out, or just plain stupid stoner movie titles you might come across while you’re too high to turn off the instant play option on your streaming service.
Contrary to what people have been saying for years, cannabis won’t make you dumber. However, these movies might.
[embed width=“320” height=“180” class=“media-video” thumbnail=“https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jqtQ60rWzRE/mqdefault.jpg”]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqtQ60rWzRE[/embed]
Ah, ‘Evil Bong,’ one of the archetypal stoner flicks of the straight-to-DVD era.
Starting, presumably, from the notion that there weren’t that many weed-based horror films at that time, the writers likely worked backwards until they finally hit upon the idea of some kind of cursed, killer…bong? Sure, whatever.
While the film was ‘legitimized,’ we guess you could say, with a phoned-in appearance from stoner comedy legend Tommy Chong, it doesn’t have much else going for it. Still, it some how managed to garner enough interest to spin of a whole franchise of unfunny, terribly-named sequels.
Hansel And Gretel Get Baked
[embed width=“1280” height=“720” class=“media-video” thumbnail=“https://i.ytimg.com/vi/gxX5KYygsBc/maxresdefault.jpg”]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxX5KYygsBc[/embed]
Listen guys, if you’re going to do a marijuana-based retelling of a beloved children’s folk tale, you should at least have the courtesy to come up with a pun. It’s not that hard — The Fried Piper, Puss in Blunts, The Ugly Danking… But, no, there is no pretention of cleverness here.
Instead, the filmmakers are like Jon Stewart’s character in ‘Half Baked,’ asking if you’ve ever seen Hansel and Gretel…on weed?
While we don’t want to suggest that the only reason this movie exists is to piggyback off of the major, big-budget Hansel & Gretel movie that was coming out around the same time, but in all honesty, the title doesn’t suggest much in the way of divine inspiration.
[embed width=“320” height=“180” class=“media-video” thumbnail=“https://i.ytimg.com/vi/FplWxtPzWY8/mqdefault.jpg”]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FplWxtPzWY8&t=87s[/embed]
This is the sole Hollywood film on this list, meaning that it’s the only one with a massive budget ($50 million!), big name actors (James Franco! Natalie Portman! Danny McBride!) and a wide theatrical release. All of this despite the fact both the name and synopsis sound like something you’d find in the worst dredges of your Netflix queue.
Coming in hot off the success of ‘Pineapple Express,’ it’s hard to argue director David Gordon Green didn’t fumble the ball when it came to this weed-infused ‘Holy Grail’ wannabe. Let’s hope that he and McBride do a more effective job with their upcoming ‘Halloween’ reboot.
The Stoned Age
[embed width=“480” height=“360” class=“media-video” thumbnail=“https://i.ytimg.com/vi/SuPtrBufy5Q/hqdefault.jpg”]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuPtrBufy5Q[/embed]
If you’re unimaginative enough call your movie ‘The Stoned Age,’ you’d think you are at least try and tie it in with something more fitting than a half-baked ‘Dazed and Confused’ rip-off. I mean, we get it, everyone associates the 70’s with lighting up — but wouldn’t you much rather see weed-toking cave men running away from big, green dinosaurs? Because we would.
[embed width=“1280” height=“720” class=“media-video” thumbnail=“https://i.ytimg.com/vi/LS98A1Y7d8s/maxresdefault.jpg”]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LS98A1Y7d8s[/embed]
No matter how much you bold the “High,” no matter what size you set the font on the poster, this title is never going to be clever. This is essentially the first weed joke anybody ever thinks of when they start smoking pot — usually in high school.
Additionally, this half-assed attempt at a movie somehow managed to snag Adrien Brody for a starring role. We’re not sure if that speaks well of the movie, or poorly of the actor, but we’re definitely leaning towards the latter.
Weirdest of all, it’s not even really a “high school hang-out” kind of movie. It’s about two students hoping to pass a mandatory drug test so one of them can maintain his college scholarship. The fact that it could have so easily, and more fittingly, been called ‘The Test,’ just shows that the studio heads probably didn’t even watch the damn thing.